Dear Dixie,

I love your Like a Boss Girls tagline: “Make a living, make a difference, make it BIG!” I have all these dreams about doing all that, but I never seem to do anything about it. It’s not laziness, it’s just that I’m worried I’m not good enough.

I guess I have what everyone calls “low self-esteem”. I’m overweight, I always date guys that are jerks, and I dropped out of college last year. How do I get from being like this to being “like a boss”?

–Debbie Downer


My Dear, Darling Debbie,

Here’s the good, no, GREAT news: You have dreams. Big dreams. And that is so fantastic. Now here’s a secret about this whole so-called being “good enough” stuff: No such thing. In fact, it’s all backward! If everyone waited until they were “good enough” to pursue their dreams, no one would ever do anything.

Do you know how you become “good enough?” How you become the great person who were born to be?

You have a dream and you work towards it. It’s by setting goals and especially the part where we work toward them that we develop, refine and discover the qualities that make us great.

So Debbie, first set some goals. (Here you’ll find the best way to identify and articulate your goals. You’ll see–it really works.) Next, stop disrespecting yourself and start treating yourself like the wonderful person you are–and the awesome woman you’re on your way to becoming!

Here are some tips:

CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS WISELY. CHERISH YOUR FRIENDS… A LOT: Make sure you surround yourself with people who love and support you. Unfortunately, a lot of people in our lives–yes, including friends and family–may be well-intentioned, but their negative energy, criticisms and pessimism can really drag you down. Don’t let other people–and this includes friends and boyfriends–abuse you, mistreat or disrespect you. If you wouldn’t let your BFF put up with it, don’t you.

Steer clear of anyone who makes you feel de-energized or feeling bad. Cherish and hang with those people who want to support you and your goals.

TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY: The physical body you’re in is the only one you have. That alone makes it’s special and valuable. It’s literally priceless. Treat it like the precious treasure it is. Take care of it so it will take care of you. Show it respect and love and it will become a body you can be proud of and rely upon.

Examine your habits and routines and look for areas that can stand some improvement–and for opportunities for you to pamper yourself. If you’re overweight, take a look at how and what you eat. Research different ways you can incorporate physical activity into your life–exercise, dancing, walking, martial arts…sky’s the limit! And remember it doesn’t take a lot of time or money to communicate to your body that you care for and respect it. (Your subconscious will also hear it, loud and clear.) A mani-pedi, a new gorgeous-smelling lotion, a massage–they all send that “I’m worth it!” message.

TAKE CARE OF YOUR MIND: You only have one body, and it only has one brain. So, since you only have this one mind (hopefully–if not, see a doctor), do right by it. Sure, you can indulge in the occasional trashy mag or TV show (cough*Kardashians*cough), but once in awhile read a good book. Check out magazines on unfamiliar subjects. Learn a new language. Enrich your vocabulary. Challenge your mind. It has so much potential you’re not aware of, or using. And so do you.

We all teach others how to treat us. We also teach ourselves. The more you treat yourself with love and respect, the more you’ll teach yourself that you’re worthwhile, you’re awesome, and you’re on your way to doing big things and becoming the woman you want to be.

Good luck Debbie – we’ll see you in your dreams!